How a Manager Changes a Light Bulb
I originally posted this one here on 1 June, 2005. I thought it worth a re-post. It was inspired by the horribly detailed approach to creating policy at one of my former places of employment. It was very popular with my co-workers, mainly because it was a very real portrayal. Ironically, a few weeks after I posted this, they literally did create a light bulb disposal SOP.
8:00 AM – Arrive at work notice the light bulb is out.
8:10 AM – Confirm the problem. Ask the nearest employee if the bulb is out. If the employee answers yes, take advantage of the confirmation and use it to gain additional information… Ask the employee if they know who is supposed to change it. (Of course he/she is going to say no because they will fear that you will make them find that said person but YOU are the manager YOU don’t know this.)
8:15 AM – Hold a meeting to determine who in the department is responsible for the light bulb. Decide which manager is responsible for implementing the light bulb program.
9:00 AM – “power” break for coffee.
9:14 AM – Resume meeting and detail out the program.
9:30 AM – The appointed manager amends the job description for the employee to change the light bulb, researches light bulb changing, prepares a SOP for light bulb changing and types up the report.
10:45 AM – Meet with Human Resources to approve the job description change.
11:15 AM – Meet with department manager get the new SOP approved
11:45 AM – Meet with head of maintenance to assure your SOP meets all standards.
Noon to 1PM – “power” lunch… you deserve it you have been working hard.
1:15 PM – Meet with the employee who is going to change the light bulb. Have the employee read over the SOP and updated job description. Have the employee print name, date and sign paperwork that states he/she read and understands the SOP and new job description.
1:45 PM – All the paperwork and “hard stuff” is done. Confirm the employee understands by asking him/her in a slow clear voice “do you understand?” The employee says yes and then ask “what do you want me to do with the old bulb?”.
2:00 PM – Have a meeting to discuss light bulb disposal…
- How many Nigerians does it take to change a light bulb? (punchng.com)
- Light Bulb Jokes of the Economists (nadineestrella.wordpress.com)
- More philosophy light-bulb jokes (philosopherscocoon.typepad.com)