A Tragic Loss – The Death of Mr. Common Sense

English: the log of the political part the com...
English: the log of the political part the common sense party (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is a re-post from the days before MovableType assisted me in wiping out Lumpy’s Corner and starting over. To be truthful, I could have recovered the entire old blog, but so much of it is terribly dated. Instead, I re-write some of the better ones from time to time.

A Tragic Loss – The Passing of Mr. Common Sense

Originally posted 2005.02.26

I got this in an e-mail from Marz…

I almost never forward such e-mails but I actually forwarded this one and even posted it on Phoenix’s FFAF (Free for all Friday) blog (now defunct)… It is classic…

OBITUARY

Today we mourn the passing of our beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in Bureaucratic Red Tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spendmore than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. – Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.

Isn’t that just too real?

Yours in Cyb3r Sp4c3,

Lumpy